Preface: This is purely speculation. I may well be wrong, and I surely don't have any facts, statistics, or studies to back me up. Everything is purely anecdotal, and very largely generalised. That being said, I feel that it does reflect a real issue within many internet communities, that really does need to change.

I'm an arsehole. I've been told so many times. But at least I'm right, and that's the most important thing, isn't it? The only thing that's as bad as being wrong is not knowing, and no-one will ever accuse me of that. You see, I posses the powers of Google, and Wikipedia. I "know" everything that the collective conciousness has ever known. Lesser mortals should cower, and praise my obviously superior intellect.

I'm not the only one, though. Enter many internet communities, and ask a question; instead of an answer you'll get berated for being ignorant. What's more, the people who most eloquently insult you will be applauded by their peers. This is the benefit of communities where being right is more important than being nice. You know that anyone who's talking must know what they're talking about, or they wouldn't dare to speak.

Only... it's not a benefit at all. Communities thrive on discussion, not group-think. We have reached a state where outright bullying and abusing someone for holding a differing opinion, being misinformed, or simply not knowing something, is considered not only acceptable behaviour, but congratulated. It shuts down new lines of thought; new discussions. Only those people who are already in the know get to participate.

We have reached a state where having the right (or at least popular) opinion is vastly more important than being nice, and no-one sees a problem with this.

What's even more concerning to me is how this behaviour starts to leak out into real life. Large numbers of people who I have met, all with backgrounds in very different and varied online communities, use this type of behaviour in general conversation. They can't admit to not knowing of a band, or a meme, or an obscure scientific concept, because not knowing is the worst thing imaginable. When you don't know, you can't participate in the conversation, because other people will know that you don't know, and that's just leaving yourself open. If you even have a sliver of knowledge on a topic, you must expound your knowledge loudly, lest someone else let a misconception leak into the conversation.

I know what it's like to speak with a person like this. I know what it's like to be a person like this.

It's not nice - there's no way that you can convince yourself that it is, but you don't even see yourself doing it. I lived for many years, loudly telling anyone who would listen about my knowledge (even when thin or non-existent) on any topic that they were discussing. I couldn't help myself. I was included in the conversation simply by being there; I couldn't pretend not to notice it. If I was there, and not talking, then that must mean that I didn't know, and there is no worse crime! I would be ostracised, excluded, and left out! I had to tell everyone what I knew lest they thought I didn't know at all!

In the end, I was ostracised and excluded. I was left out when friends invited each other to parties. I was passed over when people wanted to hang out. I was a social pariah, not because I didn't know, but because I was a total jerk about everything. I was a loud, self-professed expert on everything, and haver of many, many half-baked opinions about things that I truly didn't really understand. It's not nice behaviour, and it's not welcome in real life, but I just couldn't see that I was doing it.

I got out of that somehow, to a certain extent. I had someone point it out to me every time I did it. It was affecting their friendships, so rather than apologising to their friends, they told me to stop it. They pointed it out every time I did it, and eventually I started seeing it myself. I won't say that I've stopped entirely, but I'm genuinely OK with saying "I don't know", or even not saying anything at all. It's hard, and I have to watch myself constantly, but I've eventually become someone that people don't mind being around again.

I've seen this behaviour manifest itself on and offline many times, and it's not good. It's confrontational, mean, and benefits nobody. I'm not saying that people who are arseholes in real life are like that because of their rich online communities. I'm also not saying that people with rich online lives will all be mean arseholes in real life. I'm saying that it's a behaviour pattern which isn't acceptable in life, but is online, and I think that too much exposure to it will make people think that it's a social norm.

Finally, I've been in large groups of people who met up because of a common internet community. Next time you're on a forum, or in IRC, read the comments out loud. That's what it sounds like, only more awkward because everyone can suddenly see how little anyone else really cares about their opinion.

This is something that I really feel needs to change. Even if you can't change your online communities, please, please try to be aware of it in real life, and tell your friends (and yourself) to stop it. Your life will be so much better for it.